Fuck ___________

This is my awards show.

Fuck the Grammys.

Fuck the Oscars.

Fuck the Pulitzer prizes, the Emmys, the Espys, Miss America and all other awards that are not given out by me.

Those organizations and societies champion mediocrity on a regular basis. My award is not. I want mine to be negative so maybe somebody somewhere can learn something positive from it.

My award is The Big F.

The rules are simple:

1. I am the Supreme Rule Creator. <---(that would be a "period" denoting finality).

2. The Supreme Rule Creator can award The Big F to any person, thing, or ideology/principle he feels has earned it.

3. The Big F is nonnegotiable, nonrefundable, and (most importantly) nontransferable. The Big F also may not at any time be redeemed for any cash value.

4. The Supreme Rule Creator may at any time and without notice ammend, suspend, upend, defend, or transcend these rules (including but not limited to this one).